The 5 Different Love Languages-Valentines Day!
HI Friends! Recently my two girls came over to the house excited about a questionnaire they and their friends were taking just for fun. Saying it was new and all the rage, they did not realize that their father and I took that test over 20 years ago when we were trying to learn to better communicate in our own relationship. Of course, now the book which we read and studied is on line and the assessment test on how each of us receives love can be taken in 5 minutes. Before you get a gift this Valentines for your sweetie, maybe take the test so you know what he/she really would like or…………
What a fun activity to do together this Valentines!!
“The Five Love Languages” is a book written by Gary Chapman in 1995, which reveals how different people receive and express love in different ways. What means a lot to you, may not be important at all to your spouse. It was eye opening to John and I way back when, and was very helpful to us in understanding each other better. The interesting part is when we revisited the test years later, we had become more alike in our love languages. 20+ years ago we were polar opposites!!! What are the love languages he outlines? Below are taken straight from his website.
Words of Affirmation– Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
Acts Of Service– In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.
Receiving Gifts– Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.
Quality Time– In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.
Physical Touch– This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.
We had a fun time retaking the test and it is so simple now to get a basic understanding of you , your mate and the principles since the quiz literally takes less than 5 minutes. Now not only can you take it as regards to your spouse but also your children, friends and co-workers.
The test is fun but reading the book is definitely more helpful. Since that first book he has written over 50 others from parenting books, a children’s series, singles and divorce topics to work place tips, and all based on the principles of love. When finding this out I definitely had to order a few-this time on audio. After all if we all could better learn, express and receive love from each other- happier people we would all be!!! If you want to read more about fun valentines tablescapes interiors or activities go here to read a few past posts!
I hope everyone has a great Valentines week and if you are not celebrating with that special someone of your kids-spread the gift of LOVE to others by volunteering.